Jesus said in Matthew 18:7, “Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!”. Meaning, there will be offenses occurring everyday in our lives to some extent. Most will agree that we are all susceptible to being offended or brought to a low place by another. Dictionary.com gives great detail to a fuller meaning of offense:
Offend (verb)
- to irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in:
- to affect (the sense, taste, etc.) disagreeably.
- to violate or transgress (a criminal, religious, or moral law).
- to hurt or cause pain to. to cause resentful displeasure; irritate, annoy, or anger:
- a remark so thoughtless it can only offend.
- to err in conduct; commit a sin, crime, or fault.
Jesus also said woe to those who these offenses are committed by. This should give us pause for time to reflect on the moments in our day that we get it wrong and sin against another. When we do, we can acknowledge how easy it is to accidentally or purposefully offend another. When we find ourselves in these troubled places, there is a right way and a wrong way of handling it.
The Wrong Way
The wrong way is to take offense at the offense and become embittered at the person who was offended. Another wrong way is to choose indifference at the offense we did, or worse, blame the offended.
Let’s take a common example of a car situation. Let’s say you are driving toward an intersection in a multi-lane road, and suddenly the car next to you initiates their turn signal and begins to move into your lane without maintaining a super-safe distance. The sudden move can trigger a fear of getting into an accident, cause us to be offended and speed up to prevent their untimely lane change, give us inclination to give them improper hand gesture, or use our car’s offense button to make them wholly aware of their trespass. Had we known they were on the phone with a person giving them last minute directions to their child’s car accident, would we be so quick to be offended, or would we slow down and let them change lanes to help them?
Life is like that. When we separate ourselves from caring for one another, we tend to believe that everything other people do may lead to offense, and sometimes, it might! However, if we learn to operate in our world with the spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, as our trusted advisor, we can have a better understanding of why people do what they do, be less offendable, and more easily forgive when we are offended. Why? Because relationship with Christ is to remember His words as to why we are here and what He died on a cross for and to remember His forgiveness for us when we crucified Him.
He Was Offended First
Jesus came, lived, died, and was resurrected to reveal the true kingdom He reigns over. One that is unseen, but revealed through truth. One that shows us why we do what we do and acknowledge the sin that is in our world. Without evil, there would be no strife, contention, murder, jealousy, adultery, addictions, hurriedness, anxiety, fear, doubt, or all the rest. There would be no offenses for us to fear. We would know each other’s thoughts and motives, and no longer live this life with spiritual blindness that leads to offenses. We must remember, God was offended first when man chose to rebel against His original divine plan. There is a better way.
The Right Way
Jesus is the way, the truth and the light. He will lead us down a good path to peace and blessings when we follow Him. Since I’ve dedicated my life to Him, And with His presence in my life, my driving patterns have changed, my general desire to hurry to get things done, without regard for others opinions or offenses is lessened, and my desire to have things I do not need no longer drives me. I have slowed down in traffic and in life to take time to learn how to love. Love is the right way to stop offending others and to not take offenses so seriously. It is the right way to make decisions by being mindful of how our actions have immediate, life-long, and eternal consequences.
Freedom From Offense
Living life as Jesus showed us is freedom; freedom from being offended. It’s truly a choice that we can have self control and make a choice to forgive others quickly and giving it to God in every circumstance. Freedom is removing the old chains of offense and casting them to God so we are no longer bound to emotions of anger, hatred, bitterness, or jealousy.
Unoffended (adjective):
Lexico.com
Incapable of being offended.
The Lord revealed to me years ago that hardness of heart, joints, necks, and body parts (think arthritis) can be caused in our physical bodies when we take offense or carry unforgiveness in our hearts and minds for others and ourselves. Forgiveness and focusing on staying unoffended is the best way to live, “the right way”.
In this ministry, we deal with many autoimmune diseases: lupus, Crohn’s, diabetes (type 1), rheumatoid arthritis and MS, to name a few. All autoimmune diseases have a spiritual root of self-hatred, self-bitterness and guilt.
Wright, Henry . A More Excellent Way (p. 67). Whitaker House. Kindle Edition.
I pray the Lord reveals to you now the offense you may be carrying for others or yourself in your life and that He shows you how it has affected you in a negative way. I also pray for the Lord to help you through unforgiveness for others and yourself, and for you to learn through the testimony of others and the stories of forgiveness in the Bible to reveal how much God loves you and wants you to stay unoffended. You will be healed in the process and find a peace that only God can give you when you give Him all your burdens.
Blessings. you are loved!
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you; and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30